


that saved a wretch like me

by nihilbyhora



Category: Original Work, vomit dot exe
Genre: Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Other, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 06:34:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20903207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nihilbyhora/pseuds/nihilbyhora
Summary: if you're not crying now, then you probably should be.





	that saved a wretch like me

**Author's Note:**

> What I know at sixty, I knew as well at twenty. Forty years of a long, a superfluous, labor of verification.

you will no longer ascribe any significance to this.

interpersonal relationships serve no purpose in my life other than to cause me more and greater irreparable harm each time they are violently ended. or so i thought as my younger brother shoves his cock down my throat. for each succeeding year followed by an immense slap in the face.

"nobody actually likes you," he'd say, grinning like a fool as i throw up the last chunk of bile from my catholic parent's dinner.

at least my potassium levels don't drop. not enough to kill me, at least.

im not really good for anything except being a hole and i even manage to fuck that up because i attach unnecessary value to it and try in vain to imagine that people that want to fuck me actually like me as a person.

lately ive been overcome with an all-encompassing nausea that serves to completely incapacitate me whenever i can feel it bubbling up–i will curl up in bed or on the couch and wrap my arms around myself, hoping it will stop, but it can take hours before it finally subsides. i think my own insides are as tired of me as i am. it’s getting hard to keep food down these days.

my complete and utter incompetence and the resultant terror i experience at the behest of it bars me from having anything i truly want in my life.

im so fucked up.

sometimes i wish you would beat me until i was sobbing and pissing myself and begging you to stop, then continue until i died.

im so, so fucked up.


End file.
